I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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