he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
