I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
True college students do jello shots in the library
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
