I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
