i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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