WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
dude. I can hear the air.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
