What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
