The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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