Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
