sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
