Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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