Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
