I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
