I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
