My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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