he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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