That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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