apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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