sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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