White coat. Heels.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
