is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
splinters make it hard to masturbate
a search helicopter?!
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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