I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
