Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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