I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
