WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
