no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You were trust falling into bushes
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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