Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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