So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I will pee on everything he values.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
