Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
