dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
