Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
