he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
