Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

thanks...oh and i got my period

(734): View more from Michigan

told you

(313): View more from Michigan

oh hush

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(586): View more from Michigan

So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?

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(949): View more from California

i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way

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(217): View more from Illinois

Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.

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(706): View more from Georgia

I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.

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(207): View more from Maine

I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress

(416): View more from Toronto

Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing

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(815): View more from Illinois

I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...

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