is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
