This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
