you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
