Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
