Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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