dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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