He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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