OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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