I need help removing her.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize