is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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