cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Randomize
