your room smells of hookers.
And success
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
