I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize