Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
