Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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