wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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