You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
