I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
