dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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