I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
