Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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