dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
