your parents love me but you hate me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
