so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
