Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
