having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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