The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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