you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
