Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
